Thinking it Over
by Quin
Summary: Yaoi. Kensuke. Daisuke stops to think about his feelings for Hikari...and Ken.


Disclaimer and stuff: Not mine! No money! I wrote this at 2 A.M.! What is it with me and writing in the middle of the night? I wanted to write a companion to 'With Ease Born of Practice' from Dai's pov. Here 'tis! Though it also works as a stand-alone.  
  
  
Thinking it Over  
  
  
It's kind of a slow day y'know? After all the excitement with that Oikawa guy and everything. It's really boring for things to be normal.  
  
Anyway, it does give me lots of time to think. Oh, stop snickering. I can *too* think!  
  
I guess that'd probably surprise the others. "Wow! That's a first!" ,they'd say, or "Don't hurt yourself"  
  
Which is okay. That's what I'm there for...I'm the comedy relief. Most people would probably hate it, but not me. Everybody needs to laugh sometimes. Get unstressed.   
  
I help. It's really kind of cool when you think about it.....ummm, where was I?   
  
Oh yeah-deep thinking.  
  
What about? Well, about Hikari mostly....and Ken.   
  
Oh yeah, I know, it's not all that surprising that I'm thinking about Hikari. I mean, she's my crush right?  
I'm crazy about her right? I *have* been chasing her like an insane duck hunter in a wildlife refuge right?  
  
Well, that's what I've been thinking about.  
  
And you know what scares me?  
  
The thought that I, maybe, don't really want to catch her. I really thought I loved her. I mean, well DUH. How could I not love her? She's perfect-beautiful, sweet, angelic....all kinds of stuff.  
  
Maybe a little *too* perfect.  
  
But, then I started thinking, what would I do if I actually *caught* her? I mean...me? With Hikari? Where would I take her if we actually went out? Stuff like that.   
  
Then I realized....I can't picture myself kissing Hikari. I don't think I really want to. It's kinda weird.   
  
I think I love the picture of Hikari in my head more than the real Hikari.  
  
Is that normal?  
  
I like chasing her but I don't wanna catch her?  
  
You know what's weirder? I can picture myself kissing Ken. I think I'd like to.  
  
THAT is scary.  
  
He's my best friend, and I've been realizing-I know him a lot better, and *like* him a lot better than Hikari.  
  
He's beautiful, sensitive, kind, and he's always treated me like an equal. Always. Like I'm special-not a joke.  
  
Okay, so maybe that does bother me sometimes.  
  
Plus, he's got that whole multiple personality thing going on. What?! Stop looking at me like that!  
You can't honestly tell me you don't think it's sexy! It is! It's exotic, and mysterious, and it means he's not *perfect* perfect like Hikari.  
  
So why-I hear you ask-aren't I, Daisuke, chasing Ken?  
  
Good question!  
  
You wanna know why?  
  
Well, do you?  
  
So do I.  
  
What? Oh, I guess I'm confused. That's not unusual.  
  
It's just...well Ken's a *guy*. Don't look at me like *that* either. I'm not all weird about that. I think I could handle all the stuff people would say about us too. I put up with a lot already.  
  
And I'm not all 'Oh no, I can't tell him! He'll *hate* me!' cuz' that'd be dumb. I know I wouldn't lose Ken's friendship. He cares too much.  
  
So..why?   
  
I think it's 'cuz I'm scared he might feel the same way. It isn't that I wouldn't know what to do with Ken. It isn't like with Hikari.  
  
I *know* what I'd do if I had Ken. I'd kiss him a lot., and buy him anything he wanted that I could afford, and I'd tell him that I loved him every day.  
  
Did I just say I love Ken? Whoa...that's even scarier than the kissing thing...  
  
You're still asking why, huh?  
  
It's 'cuz of what the things people would say would do to *Ken*  
  
I know it really hurt him when the rest of the other digidestined wouldn't accept him. I don't think anybody but me knows how much that hurt him.  
  
If we got together they might act like that again-well, some of them. It would be in the tabloids too. Ken's famous-everybody would know.  
  
I can't do that to him. So I won't.  
  
It's okay. Someday he'll fall in love, and I'll be happy 'cuz *he's* happy. She better watch out though...if she ever hurts him....  
  
Dai?  
  
Gah! Jun! How long have you been here?!  
  
I just got here...Uh Dai? Why are you talking to my teddy bear?  
  
Ummm...no reason. Bye!  
  
*sigh* Bye Dai......I can't believe he thinks I don't know.  
  
~end~  



End file.
